“Just Watch Me”: Find your Inner Rebel, Win at Business

“…I don't think she'll ever amount to anything.”

Can you imagine overhearing your 4th grade teacher say that about you?

My friend Fariba did. Ouch.

Ms. Merrill* was a mean teacher.

(*That's her real name. As writer Anne Lamott says, “If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.”)

Ms. Merrill never smiled. She was not beloved. She “accidentally” said hurtful things where others would hear her (including an insult about my mother once, grrrrrr…).

Her hurtful words were devastating to Fariba. 

…At first. 

But then Fariba got mad. 

She worked her butt off in school. She later chose a high school where her spirited energy & creative brain were appreciated and celebrated, rather than criticized.

Over the years, any time she was falling behind in her classes, she'd remember Ms. Merrill's mean words about her, and apply herself even harder.

Her senior year of high school, having just been accepted at a competitive University, she mailed Ms. Merrill a copy of her report cards covered with A's. “You were wrong about me."

There's a lot to be angry about these days.  (Like, a lot). 

It has inspired me to talk about how you can channel your healthy anger into motivation. (Including in business & leadership).

I've written about how you can identify the Villain you're battling with your work, and save your clients from the unqualified alternatives. 

Now, I want you to tap into your anger and let your rebellious-energy propel you forward.

Legendary basketball star Michael Jordan did it:

After a particularly poor performance with the Washington Wizards in 2001, critics were saying “He's too old,” and “He's washed up.”

Jordan got angry – and used it as fuel. He stayed up all night fuming & practicing, and the next day he proved them wrong, becoming the oldest player to ever score 50+ points in a game. 

He knew how to use setbacks. He had been cut from his high school basketball team, and turned the rejection into determination. The rest is history.

So here's an exercise:

When you're feeling nervous about taking brave steps in your business or work, noticing that self-doubt creeping in (or full-on taking over),

I want you to imagine someone you really, really don't like, saying you can't do it. 

(Helpful hint: Don't pick someone who's opinion you actually care about, or who you have a deep/complex relationship with. You can pick someone famous who’s in power, an irritating neighbor, or a mean 4th grade teacher. It’s up to you).

The main thing is to imagine someone who, when you hear their grating voice saying “You can't pull this off,” your gut reaction is anger. 

You imagine yourself telling them off and saying, “Oh yeah? Just watch me.” 

Then take steps towards your goal with renewed energy.

As a therapist who's worked with people-pleasers for ages, and as a business coach who's helped deep-feeling, purposeful entrepreneurs and business leaders for 10+ years, I know that even the nicest, kindest people have an Inner Rebel. 

Find that “spicy” side of yourself, and channel that heat towards positive action. 

(And maybe even find some healing in the process, as you realize that you have power to push back on what has hurt you or others). 

Let me know how it goes for you in the comments.

You're more powerful than you think.

Screw the nay-sayers (or as we passive-aggressively say in the South, “Bless their hearts”),

-Jane