“Howdy, Partner”: Let’s talk about business partnerships.
The crowd cheered. The band emerged from backstage and started right in on one of their biggest hits from the early 1980s.
Though there was magic in the air, only half of the crowd stood up, because at a summertime “Yacht Rock” concert, most of the audience is older, and already hot & tired.
It was a blast, though. As we sang along with songs we'd heard on MTV as children (back when the channel played actual music), the nostalgia surged.
My friend & I noticed a new band member, though: she wore leggings splotched with giant sunflowers, multiple scarves, and a flaming red beret that didn't match the neutral aesthetic of the group.
She flitted about, alternating between shaking maracas, belting out with the backup singers, banging on woodblocks, and just… running back & forth.
The rest of the band seemed to be trying to ignore her “Look at meeee!”manic-energy; it was a similar vibe to the SNL “Cowbell” skit.
Once she took to grabbing the lead singer's mic so she could co-sing the classic refrain of the song, my friend looked at me and asked,
“What's the deal with Yellow-Pants?"
We puzzled about how someone with so little talent could feature so prominently into the show.
I thought for a minute, then shared my theory:
“I bet Yellow-Pants is married to the lead singer. He probably invited her onstage once or twice back in the day, and she kept pushing until she had a permanent place in the band.”
My friend liked my hypothesis. “Yeah, she seems like A Lot. She probably makes sure he gets enough sleep and takes his medications, so she has to come on tour, but that means the others have to put up with her onstage."
Just then, the lead singer started introducing the band members. He pointed at Yellow-Pants and said, “And this is my wife, ______…"
Nailed it.
We high-fived our own sleuthing, and at the end of the night cackled when all the bands from the Yacht Rock show came onstage for a finale, and the lead singer of another famous 80s band had to physically block Yellow-Pants from grabbing his microphone.
A lot, indeed.
It got me thinking about partnerships.
Partnership in one arena doesn't necessarily mean you'll be great partners in another.
As a business coach, I've encountered many entrepreneurs who are terrific as friends or colleagues, and assume this means they'll be even better as business partners.
Sometimes this is true, but I'll still shout it from the mountaintop into the microphone:
Be very careful about who you choose as a business partner. (This includes who you hire).
Dynamics I've seen in friends-turned-business partners:
The less confident friend partners with their bold, gumption-filled friend… whose overconfidence is based in narcissism. The confidence-lacking friend ends up being steamrolled, taken advantage of, bullied, and even less confident than when they started.
Two people have a common goal, but very different philosophies about how to get there. One believes in “move fast and break things," while the other is all about “move slowly and build things.”
One partner is all about Big Ideas & Visioning –leaving all the implementation to the other partner. [Flashback to those group projects in school where one person does all the work, silently burning with rage towards the lazy punks who spent the whole weekend partying].
Now, sometimes friends make great business partners.
But here are a few things to keep in mind as you decide whether to work with a buddy:
Notice any nagging or queasy feelings in the pit of your stomach. Sometimes your body will tell you things that you're not seeing on the surface. Don't ignore your intuition.
Set out Very Clear Boundaries from the get-go. Who's doing what? How will you handle disagreements & conflict? How will you manage splitting up the business if one of you wants to leave? Boundaries & contracts don't mean a lack of trust, they actually set the stage to nourish & maintain trust.
Are you bringing complementary strengths & skills toward a common goal with common values? Or are your differences based in different philosophies & aims? Do you have too much in common (i.e. the same strengths, the same liabilities, so no overall benefit to the partnership).
Finally, ask yourself:
Am I seeking out this partnership because I'm just nervous about doing it on my own?
If this is the case, you may just need help building your own confidence. Coaching can help.
It's normal to feel fear, self-doubt, and imposter syndrome as you find your voice and your path. That doesn't mean you have to hand the mic over to anyone else. (You may be better off captaining your own Yacht).
You've got this,
Jane